My second birthday in California....

Today I turned 51. Did I say that out loud? In so many ways I feel like that is so old and also so young. I have so many things I haven't done and have done a lot of the things I've wanted to do. I am in no way the person I want to be. But happier with my life than I thought I'd be.
God has changed me this past year that I have lived in California. I can't really explain how. I hope it is for the better, to see things more the way He see's them,. To be content in all things. 

I made a list in my journal this morning of things I want for myself this next year in my life. Things like kinder, friendlier, healthier and fit. A better daughter, mother and wife. A good grandma to my unborn grand-baby. But most of all is to be closer to God, and closer to his people. And to bring people closer to Him.
I don't want to hurt people with my words or actions. I want to show love, Gods love and my love for them.
So I am asking God for help and I hope my friends and family will help me too! This past year has been a good year, a fun year, a sad year and a lonely year. This next year is going to be even better, they always are!

One Year...

It has been a busy few weeks. My son and his wife came for a visit. We had a great time with them. I miss them so much!

This past weekend marked our one year anniversary of living in California.....
What to say about it? The first thing that comes to mind is how lonely I've been. I didn't think moving to a place with so many people could be so lonely. I have not made any friends and don't really know how. We have our niece and nephew (thank you God), and hubby has "work" friends. But that's it! We have some people we talk to at church some times and say hi to some neighbors. But no one to call for help or to hang out with.
I think the thing I've learned from this is to value the friendships you have. I miss that I can't just call one of my girlfriends and go to lunch or coffee. Or do a craft day. I miss the ladies bible studies I had at my home. I miss my kids. I miss my church family!
I've also learned that where ever you are God is there. He is still here in the morning to talk to, he is still here when I am lonely. I'm not sure I could of done this move without knowing God has this! What a comfort!
I know when I get back to Utah, I will spend more time working on friendships, more time with family and more time reaching out to people that are alone....

I am a sinner...forgiven

This morning I was looking over facebook and I came across a funny that a friend posted that really has bothered me. Most of the time if I see something offensive or political  I just ignore it. But this one I commented on and I can't seem to let it go. So I will say what I think here....

 The funny said  "You call yourself a Christian, but Jesus wasn't a snob who judged people for their imperfections. You may wanna get your bible out and check up on that." I replied "Christians are sinners...only difference we are forgiven".

The first thing that came to mind was, that this joke was being a snob to a Christian's imperfection. We don't become sinless once we follow Christ. We still  do and think the same as a none believer, we struggle to live up to a world that thinks we should act like God. We are sinners that is why Jesus died for us. We need the Holy spirit to empower us. We need Gods Grace! Even others Christians will throw in our faces our imperfection, with things like "where is your grace". I don't give much grace...Jesus does that. I need to die daily to sin and that is not always easy. I constantly have to ask the Holy Spirit to change my heart and actions. We want to be like Jesus, but we will never be Jesus. On this earth we will never be perfect. But the good news is we do have the blood of Christ to cover that sin and one day in front of God we will be forgiven. Something we Do Not deserve.

Paul said in Romans 7 14-25

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

So no Jesus wasn't a snob....But I am some times. 

I am forgiven

27 years seems like a long time...

On Monday September 2nd my hubby and I will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary. That is a long time. It does not seem like that long. I can honestly say we have had a happy marriage. Not to say we haven't had some rough patches or hard times because we have. But for the most part we like to be together, we are on the same page about most everything, we respect each other, we laugh, and we love each other.
When you say the words "love each other" all kinds of things can come to mind. That giddy love of a teenager, or romantic love, or that desperate love that you can't breath if they are away. I don't think we have had any of these. Our love has come from a place I could never had thought I could or would have. It comes from God and His love for us. 

1 Corinthians 13 4-7 says:

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

 Shortly after we were married we gave our lives to Christ. These verses are how we try to treat each other. But not on our own but through the Holy Spirit. On our own we could not to this. Jesus is the center of our marriage. The one thing we have always keep in the mind is the last part of verse 5, "it keeps no record of wrongs." We all sin and make mistakes. We don't need to be reminded of something we did or said years ago. We never let a disagreement linger. We just don't like to be mad at each other. If we do have a big fight one of us usually starts laughing and then we say sorry and we're done. To me nothing is that important to not try and see his point of view. The thing is we are on the same side, it's "us" not him and me. He has my back and I have his!

I feel very blessed to have been able to spend 27 years married to my friend, partner and soul mate. Together we have raised two wonderful sons, have had a ton of fun and more laughs than I though was possible. God is Good!

Be careful that you do not forget the Lord!

It has been almost a year that we have been living in California. I have changed within, some negative and some positive. I have always had fears, fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of big bridges over water. (don't even ask how fearful I am of that one!). But they were not to a point of anxiety. But as soon as we move out of our house the anxiety started. I started to wake in the night with fear of what we were doing or would have sudden heart palpitations. On the first day my hubby started his job I woke with shingles. That was not fun. I'm sure it was from the stress of the move and being so anxious about it. Also leaving my kids and friends and the place I had lived my entire life. Through this I started moving away from God in various ways.  Most of my anxiety has subsided now that I've turned it over to God. But I do have a hard time going out alone and driving. I have to remember God has me, and I am safe. I am thankful God puts these verses on my heart when I feel anxious scared or alone.

Philippians 4:6

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Psalm 121:1-2

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth

On the positive, I have learned not to take for granted friendships and church family.

Those relationship can take a long time to develop, so hold on the them. I have learned to enjoy life. Get out and have some fun when you can. I love to ride my bike, (I never did before). I really like going to baseball games. Who would of thought! 

But most of all, I've learned that you can forget the Lord ....

I had forgot to trust Him, live for Him, love Him, worship Him, spend time with Him, serve Him

So be careful that you do not forget the Lord! 

I have been meditating on Deuteronomy 6 lately, read it if you have the time. :)

My God will provide all my needs...

I am thanking God today for His provision. My hubby is part of the government furlough. One day off every week for eleven weeks. That is a 20% pay cut. But praise God we can live on that amount of money. It is just a little less than what we made in Utah. (As of today they are talking of cutting it to fewer days. Another praise)

I have always been frugal, or as my kids call me cheap! Early in our marriage we planned for me to be a stay at home mom. So we made sure to live on only one income. Even when I did work off and on over the years we still lived on one income. We have tried to pay cash when we could. Buy used or on sale when ever possible. I have always cooked from scratch and up until we moved we rarely ate out. We have traveled and stayed in state parks and slept in our van to save on hotel costs. These have been our funnest vacations!

I don't feel we have went without either. We just make sure we have the money before we buy something or go on vacation. I believe all things are a gift from God including our money. I believe to live on credit is not good stewardship of our money. After all buying on credit is buying something with money you don't have yet. And may never have. We have no guarantee of having a job tomorrow. In our 26 years of marriage hubby has  been twice without  a job. But by Gods grace we got through and He provided all our needs. This has also made us more careful with our money for times like these when it is out of our control. I'm praying for my friends that are losing income right now also that God will provide for them and they will have enough.

Some ways I save....

1. Buy used or only on sale (this is clothing, home furnishing, cars)
2. No store bought junk food (chips, cookies, soda, candy) I bake cookies, and donuts. We air pop popcorn and drink lots of water.
3. Turn the heat down and wear a sweater...
4. We don't go to the movies (Redbox or Netflix)
5. Grow a garden and can (when I was in Utah, now farmers market weekly)
6. Basic cable (we never did watch all those channels, and we share my sons Netflix)
7. Car insurance...Shop around. For years we over payed!
8. Before we buy we ask, do we need it or want it?
9. I write out a budget...Every now and then I will keep track of all our spending and see what I can cut out.
10. We just don't buy big ticket items.. Boats, trailers, atv's...But we did put in a pool. Hubby did most of the work and we paid half the price of someone else doing it!